Rain Washes Away What Used To Be.....

So i am 21 about to be 22 i have an 18mon old child and I Pay my own bills and my tuition. I pay my rent and my daughters day care. I pay for the repairs to my car and I clean my own house do my own homework and deal with a long distance relationship. Doing all of this is very stressful and it doesn't help when you sit there and call me dense because i believe everyone has a good side to them.. Just because people are assholes doesn't mean that they can't change if they want to. I am an adult i live my own life and yes your my mother but its my life stop controling it and stop using my child as a hook or anchor to keep me tethered to you. the key word there is MY child not yours. I carried her for nine months i raised her 12 out of her 18 months of life and i haven't used her as an excuse to drop out of college and stop chasing my dreams as far as i am concerned i am a better mother to my child then you ever were to me. You have let the other 3 go and live their lives its time to let me go.. I am sick of you making me feel inadequate and i am sick of hearing that i have fucked up my life.. Its my life butt the fuck out

So hey plps i haven't been here in a long time things have been hectic with school and stuff so lets give an update.. I finished my junior year of college and passed with a GPA of 3.6 which brought my cumulitive GPA back up above a 2.0 so i passed and get to go back to begin my senior year. I have a "boyfriend" or something lol since august 6 last year and things have been difficult with us. We were doing great then he moved in with me things changed and he moved out after 3 months and we have been having trouble ever since. My lil girl is 18 months now and walking and talking lol she is actually starting to run now and it is hilarious.. And with this new walking and running thing it has given me a chance to realize that she is just as accident proned as her mother lol. She loves to play the guitar, piano and sing. She tries to play my clarinet but gets mad when she cant get it to make a sound and tries to throw it lol her newest instrument right now is a whistle and its very funny and annoying at the same time lol. I moved back home for the summer to get a job so i can raise money for a trip of a life time. Our choir was invited to sing in New York next year so i am trying to work my butt off to get the money i need its been fun and hectic. well thats what has been going on since i was last on here lol.

Its been a fun and crazy year but i will be on more often

 

TTYL PLPS

I found my Mr. Hopelessly Romantic!! He is my other half, my soul mate. He along with my daughter make me feel complete. He is everything I want in a companion, in a lover, in a friend... He has changed my views on love and made me realize that no one else could possibly have loved me as much as he does or as much as I love him. The only down side to my perfect man is we live 2 1/2 hours apart. I only get to see him on weekends and when we can afford it on Wednesdays at the half way point. What makes him even more perfect is that my daughter loves him too. She just connected with him more than she ever did with her biological father. Dustin drives up to see me every weekend just so he can hold me in his arms. He is sports person but he goes to the football games just to watch me march our halftime show. He goes to my wind symphony concerts as well. He has on more than one occasion made me breakfast in bed. When i was hurt he drove up here and took care of me until I physically healed. I don't think emotionally I will ever be healed but he helps with the pain. He has bought me a dozen roses and i still have the prettiest one hanging from my shelf to dry out. He takes care of me and wants to support me and my daughter...our daughter i guess would be the more appropriate term. He insists on buying everything for me and lol gets a little upset when i wont let him but he wiggles his way around and suprises me with it later or he will give in and let me buy it for myself. I think my stubborness to independent annoys him a little but he tries not to let me see it lol. I am happy and i know i have said this many times with many guys but I truly am happy. I never thought finding your soul mate could make a person feel so complete.... and with my daughter in the mix this relationship is more that enough... Its a family... my family... I finally have my family and what makes it even better is i get another daughter in the process... His little girl Danielle... I have the perfect family I have always wanted... now all we need is a little boy and it will be complete lol... but maybe it would be best if we are married first lol... If he ever gets the courage to ask my mom then i wont have to wait very long. I have everything i have ever wanted in a family.... Now all i need is to finish my degree and i will have everything i have ever wanted... My Mr. Hopelessly Romantic is better than i could have imagined... So much better that i feel that he is too good to be true... Or maybe I am just the luckiest woman on earth to find a man who loves me for me and loves my daughter and wants her as his own... DUSTIN MAAG I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND YOUR ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED IN A LIFE PARTNER, IN A LOVER, IN A SOUL MATE!!!!!!!

its been forever since i left a post. well update. My babgirl was born and she is beautiful looks just like me thank god lol. She is already trying to walk which is freaky because she is only 8 months old lol she is a quick learner. I am a junior now at eastern and only have three years left after this one thank god for that too lol. I finally met the guy that was made for me and the funny thing is he has lived around the corner from my childhood home for years i just never knew him. He is my world as well as my daughter and his daughter. Well gotta go will leave more info later. I gots choir lol Ciao

Its always exciting to move to a new place but what sucks the most is the unpacking. It takes longer to unpack then it does to pack. Then on top of unpacking you have to clean the entire place and make sure that it is clean to put your stuff on. I have lived in my apartment for a little over a week now and I am barely getting everything unpacked. I haven't had the time and I nothing to do this weekend. So I have cleaning and unpacking. I love my new apartment, I just dont like cleaning it. Well thats all for now

 

Signing off

Hey plps, well I am moved in and settled into my new apartment on west campus. its a nice little two bedroom just big enough for me and a baby. there is even room for bob. I love it I have this big back yard and a little front yard. My back yard is connected to a playground for when Melody gets bigger and when harmony comes up with my mother. The only thing that sucks is that I do not have internet but its no biggy. I am on campus everyday so I can just use those computers or bobs computer on campus with the wireless. So its not that bad. Well thats all for now. Hope my week is better than my weekend was.

 

Signing Off 

How immature do you think it is for a "Parent" to dis-own a child just because they are helping out the person they knocked up. It is fucking ridiculous to sit there and tell your son's girlfriend that it is completely out of the question to get an abortion then expect your son to leave her high and dry to take care of his other child. Yes he made a mistake and yes so did I but don't sit there and tell me that I am trying to ruin his daughters life by making him stay with me. If you and her mother weren't so uptight and trying to run his life then maybe you could see that maybe I actually make him happy. Ugh it just pisses me off when his mother does this. She is talking all this shit about how I am making him chose me over his family and about how I don't care about what they believe and what they want. Yes I failed some classes last semester but those were the first classes I have EVER failed. I am still in school  and I am still trying so don't sit there and tell me that school isn't the most important thing to me because right now it is and when this baby is born SHE will be the most important thing to me. I am not forcing my beliefs on your son. The only thing I want to do with this baby that he doesn't is baptize her as an infant. And I am not trying to keep him away from you guys for christmas. We were actually trying to find a way for him to spend christmas with his child but with his family disowning him we have no way of him actually getting to silver and back intime for the baby to be born over christmas break. I try to talk to this lady but she flat out ignores me and then has the nerve to tell everyone that I didn't try to be a part of their family when I did. Now tell me who is the Immature one here... The 34 year old who should know how to act and behave or the 19 year old who got knocked up and is still trying to make something of her life and still make her boyfriend be a part of his first childs life??? This shouldn't be too hard of choice.

 

Signing off